jim

its been ages since my last blog, i have been poorly for some of it and then all the build up to christmas and spending time with family and friends.

i have only got 8 weeks to go now till my due date. the end is in sight!

i dont really know what to put down, so many thoughts are running through my brain .......... family, jorja, pregnancy, jim.

i am so happy, content and excited about the future.

i am as in love with jim as the day i met him and more. he is a fantastic man and i would truly be lost without him.

he is amazing. gentle, kind, loving and very caring. a fantastic dad and a doting husband.

i am so proud to be his wife, to be carrying his son and be the mother to jorja.

thank you darling for the love you show day in and day out xxx

Jorja

happy 2nd birthday Jorja, you are the best daughter any mother could ask for. mummy and daddy love you lots x x x

pure amazment!

wow, what a week so far and its only tuesday eve!

on sat me and jim went for a 4d scan, fantastic. it was really incredible seeing our little man in that much detail. such a lovely present.

from seeing him we have decided to name him Noah David Smith.

then if that wasnt enough, i have been busy getting ready for jorja's 2nd birthday tomorrow. i am so excited! ive spent the day baking her cake and some little cakes and jelly. just finished decorating the place.

i cant believe she is going to be 2 tomorrow. where has that time gone?

it seems like only yesterday that i was pregnant with her and here we are 2 years on.

i am very happy and im going to make sure she has the best day.

happiness

today is a good day, not just today but here on in. i am happy and that is how it should be. only i can control my past and live for the future and i am not going to let anyone or thing get in the way of true happiness. i am happy with my little family and that is how it should be.

its very exciting and liberating to let go of things that have hurt me in the past and look to the future knowing that it is going to be special because of jim jorja and soon to be baby boy.

friends and family are there to love, support, encourage and add to the pleasure of life.

i am very blessed by the love surrounding me.

positive thinking

ive been thinking a lot lately, sometimes too much.

jim and i have been married for just over 3 years and in that time there has been a lot of heartache, some of which we are still having to deal with.

i must add that none of this heartache is what we have caused each other. it has always been situations out of our control.

it would be really easy to hide away from it all but as we all know if you dont deal with issues as they arise they always come back to bite you all over again.

i am a very blessed lady to be married to the most amazing man of god. have the sweetest girl who is nearly two and be expecting a little boy in 13 weeks time.

now is the time for us to put our little family first and really enjoy our time together. life is so precious and i dont want to miss out on a thing.

i have him, he has me and we both have jorja and baby boy.

perfect.

aches

for the last few days i have been much more uncomfortable, cant seem to sit still and feeling slightly sorry for myself! i know its the usual stuff but today especially im feeling really rotten.

phoned the midwife and she said to take paracetamol, have a bath and rest.

i could just do with a bit of tlc. it will probably feel much better tomorrow, everything usually does.

i am terrible, i forget that im pregnant and just get on with the usual stuff but i think my body is telling me to take it easy and look after myself. easier said than done with a soon to be 2 yr old!

i feel like a washing machine on a fast spin, he is really moving about!

only 13 and a bit weeks to go.

nearly there

i cant believe that there is only 14 1/2 weeks till baby boy arrives! madness! its so exciting to think that our family will be complete.

i also cant believe that jorja will be 2 in 3 weeks! where has the time gone?!?!

i really need to get organized for the new arrival, things to buy, things to arrange. i want to get sorted! x

exciting times

i havent written in here for a while, i havent felt the need.

things are ticking along with this pregnancy quite nicely. i am starting to get tired again and the usual aches but apart from that i feel great.

work has really started taking off with mango studios, its really great and soon we are hoping that jim can do it full time. he loves it and i love seeing him happy. its win win! x

life is good x

he can feel him too!

last night was fantastic! i was laying in bed being kicked about by the little man growing inside me and jim finally felt it too!

the baby has been moving for ages, he really beats me up and i have been waiting for weeks for jim to feel him too. i am so pleased and excited!

we only have 17 weeks left until we meet the little fella and i cant wait!

hair cuts!

took jorja for her first hair cut today and she absolutely loved it! i cant believe how grown up she is! sitting up in the high chair talking to the lady. so sweet. she looks so grown up. its one of those things where i think its a big deal but other people will be like enough with the hair already! its another first of jorja's and i am so proud to be her mummy.

emotional feelings

wow, its been a really emotional day for me today. i keep crying for no real reason. pregnancy hormones are really kicking in. i go from happy and smiley to sad and crying in minutes. i go from feeling relaxed to feeling like a prize idiot. it is so weird and the worse thing is because of who i usually am its 10 times worse. i hate the thought of offending people or upsetting them i always have done and i worry what i say to people. then add pregnancy into the equation and I'm panicking that i have offended people when i know deep down i haven't but my mind keeps playing tricks on me. its really hard. i am the sort of person who wakes up in the middle of the night and worries about something that i said to someone even though i know its fine. arrh! I'm sure tomorrow i will be fine and not so emotional but right now i cant see it! I'm not even sure that this makes sense to anyone who reads it. but i guess it doesn't matter. in some weird way i feel a bit better just for writing. even if it doesn't make sense! i know what I'm trying to say.

good times are here again

we saw our son again today for the last time until he is born. it was amazing we were all there and jorja knew we were going to see him so she was excited too.

when we first got pregnant jorja still seemed so young but when you look at her now its like she has doubled in years. she is so clever and pretty. a right chatter box too!

had a tough weekend with jims dad. it has got to the stage where we can no longer see him. it has been a long and difficult journey that will continue.

for now though we are focusing on us and the happiness we share. its about time we were able to do that. so many circumstances have stopped us from doing that.

so here is to you little boy, cant wait to meet you and nor can your sister.

baby boy!

yesterday was a really great day. i took my mum and mummy di to our 20 week scan. how amazing to see the little person moving and growing inside. so exciting. the anticipation of finding out what we were having was incredible and when she said "looks like a boy to me!" i couldnt quite believe it! i mean obviously they dont say 100% but a boy has boy bits! one of each, fantastic.

me and di and jorja went shopping after and di brought loads of blue, its so nice to say my son and my daughter. very exciting.

hard times

well, since my last blog i am really having to put my words into action. so much has happened in such a short space of time. again.

things are at an all time low with jims dad, too painful to go into but as from now we will no longer be spending time with him. he has chosen his path and we have to chose was is best for us and jorja.

i also had a so called friend send me a very hurtful message on face book saying that i am self centered and insensitive to her needs. it is all very painful but basically boils down to the fact that she wants a little girl but cant have one. of course i have jorja but i am also pregnant. she is in a lot of pain and unfortunately i am an easy target.

despite all this i have never felt closer to jim and our love grows with each day. being jorjas mum is a privilege and i am overwhelmed with love for her.

the three of us, soon to be four have gone through all these 'messy' situations and yet here we are close and in love.

whatever life throws at us i know we are going to be fine. we have each other.

plus, tomorrow i am going for my 20 week scan and hopefully finding out the sex of our bundle of joy. very exciting!

new beginnings

so much has happened and keeps happening that i feel overwhelmed by it all. there are good things and bad things.

its funny how so many things can happen in such a short space of time. the last three years have felt like such a roller coaster and some days i want to get off and other days i would happily stay on the ride forever.

when i look around i see hurt all around. people who are ill, desperate to find 'mr right', financial worries and so on.

it would be very easy for me to say that everything is hunky dory and couldnt be better.

jim and i have had a difficult time with such a lot of things going on with our families. things that would tear people apart but actually we are stronger than ever.

i always here people say" if there is a god then why is this happening?"

it is a question with many answers but for me i believe and always will, that when things get tough it is easy to blame someone else for how you react or deal with the situation.

when i lost my nan i felt such pain, i miss her i wanted her to meet jorja and to just enjoy spending more time with her.

my nan was a very brave lady and battled with cancer for many years. she had had enough and if i had to choose between spending more time with her for my own selfish reasons or letting her go and be in peace i know i can take great comfort in knowing that she is now pain free and happy. what more could i possibly want for her now.

life can always be bitter sweet, just when everything is going 'to plan' a spanner get's thrown into the works.

it is very easy to dwell on the hard and painful things that happen and forget about all the amazing things that are and keep happening.

i have had my fair share of misery but i have enjoyed many fantastic and exciting things too.

so this is a tribute to my nan, i still love her dearly and miss seeing her face but now is the time to remember all the amazing and fun times we have shared. she has had a lot of impact on my life and i want to live it to the full.

i know it is easy to write about good times when things are going well but it is important that we write about the good things when it gets tough.

it is true that every cloud has a silver lining and i am finding mine .............

here we go again.

ok so when me and jim decided to have baby number 2 we were very excited but also keen to have a smooth pregnancy without any stressful situations going on. i know you cant predict the future but we were really hopeful that things couldn't be any worse than last time ..........

i guess we were wrong.

im fine, the baby is fine and this pregnancy has been a lot easier than the last but unfortunately the 'stressful' situations are just as hard as last time.

a couple of months into the pregnancy jim's nan became increasingly ill. she fought long and hard but unfortunately she passed away. this was very difficult to see the one i love and his family going through the heartache of loosing her.

it reminded me all too much of loosing my own nan.

jims nan had tb which is a very infectious disease which has caused concern as to whether we have got it. very worrying thinking jorja could have it.

jorja has been unwell with chest infection after chest infection which worried me further into thinking that maybe she had tb.

went to the doctor today and she no longer has a chest infection and professionals assure me it is very unlikely she has tb. phew.

we find out jims dad has a strain of tb, which is not contagious but still, not very nice for him.

then just when you think enough is enough we have had our fair share we find out jims granddad has bowel cancer which understandably thrown his family completely. jims granddad Ken is such a lovely man and made me feel very welcomed into the family.

so there that is me up to date.

there is a lot going on but i know it will be ok. i have jim and he has me and we both have a beautiful little girl who has despite all the tragedy kept us laughing and full of love.

excitment

i am in a really good mood and why not!

i have a gorgeous and very loving husband, and beautiful and amazing daughter and another addition coming in feb.

i had my midwife appointment on the 9th which was lovely, jorja was with me and we sat there listening to the heart beat. fantastic.

busy, busy,busy!

well what a day!

today my dad has been successfully commissioned to be the pastor of cbc! so exciting! the service was amazing and i am so proud of him!

then my dad being him decided to have about 40 of the people go to the prince of india for dinner. it was a really special time.

and jim because you read this the worship was fantastic.

jorja was brilliant she behaved beautifully and really is a dream.

if that wasnt enough little bean wanted to have a slice of the action and have a boogie! i have felt it move a little but tonight was the start of the kicking! very exciting! i will be 16 weeks on the 9th.

all in all a very good day! x

its been a while!

ok, well my bad for leaving it so long but so much has happened in a very short space of time.

firstly cornwall was amazing. it was so nice to get away and just be us! it was really great spending time with mummy di and steve. we dont get much time with just them so it was a really special time.

yesterday was jim's nans funeral. i have been to a few before and lost my own nan so i knew what to expect.

it is really hard watching the one you love go through so much heartache and grief. i am glad i was able to be there with him.

it was jim's first full day back at work today and i really missed him. i love spending time with him and apparently 6 weeks just isnt long enough!

today is also the 2nd second anniversary of my nans death and i miss her dearly. she was and always will be a special woman in my life. she was so entertaining and such a giver.

today has a lot of mixed emotion, my nan, jim being back at work and i am 15 weeks pregnant today.

wow, it is a good job i have an excuse to be hormonal!!!


tomorrow is a special day for me and jim. its our 3rd wedding anniversary. i cant believe how quickly the time has gone. i loved him then, and love him even more now.

im off to cornwall so chat when i get home! x

mixed feelings

yesterday was a difficult day.

it started out as planned with me, jim, jorja and my sister going to the hospital for my first scan.

it was so magical seeing the baby move about and watching the heart beating. very emotional and exciting.

we also let jorja and amy come in after everything look ok so they got to see it too. jorja just kept looking at it and saying "BEAN'. it was a really lovely moment.

we found out that i am actually 13 weeks now which is exciting!

jim, jorja and amy went back to the car whilst i waited to have my blood tests done.

i got to the car just after one and that is when jim told me his nan had passed away a few moments before.

sadness, utter sadness.

it was a difficult day from there because we had previously arranged that jorja would stay at di and steves for the night and me and jim were going to have a relaxing afternoon and evening together.

jorja did go to di's but it was very odd. didnt know how to feel really. i just wanted to do whatever jim felt he needed to do.

so thats what we did.

and thats is what we will keep on doing.

fun, fun, fun!

so much has happened since my last blog.

this week has been really tough as jims nan is very poorly in hospital so we have been there all week and meeting loads of family members.

we have just become so tired. it really is an emotional roller coaster that i wish i could make all better.

seeing jims nan reminded me of my nan who died nearly two years ago. i miss her so much and it brings it all back.

i am supporting jim in the best i can. i just hope its enough.

when you love someone so much its really hard seeing them in pain and wondering what is going to happen.

on a brighter note, it was my birthday yesterday which was hard with everything that is going on but jim made it special for me.

i had so many cards and special gifts. i also got money so now i just need to figure out what to buy with it!

today jim has gone to see lee evans which was my birthday present to him so thats nice that he has got something to enjoy and take his mind of things.

hopefully i will try and keep things more up to date on here, getting a bit slow on my part!

i am 12 weeks tomorrow! how quick has that gone?!?!?!

pondering

this weekend has been filled with emotions. some of pure joy and others of sadness.

im not sure what i want to write today. all i know is that i wanted to write something.

this weekend has been a time with family, pulling together and knowing that just being there can make a difference.

i think i am going to leave it at that for now.

relaxing

today has been a good day, a great day.

in the school holidays me and jim take it in turns to get up with jorja, give her breakfast and entertain her while the other gets some well earned sleep!

today was my day to sleep. jorja is always very excited to see daddy when she firsts wakes because usually its me so the holidays are a real treat for her. because of this she always sings at high volume with pure excitement and joy.

its lovely to hear but i rarely get to lay in because once I'm awake i have to get up.

this morning jim got up i heard him and jorja then the next thing i know i hear the front door and it is nine am!

i actually slept in!

jim had taken jorja out for breakfast and brought some shopping and generally stayed out so i could sleep.

how amazing is he!

it doesn't stop there though, jorja came into our bedroom gave me a huge hug and her and jim presented me with breakfast in bed.

how blessed am i?!?!?

he had even left me a note to say they had gone out and he loved me. he knows me. he knows that if i had of woken to find them not there i would have worried.

i love the fact that he knows me.

jorja has been beautiful today. she always is. today though she was extra beautiful.

we were all in the car on the way home and jorja started copying everything we did. for example if i moved my arms she would do the same. it was so funny and in that moment i knew i didn't want to be anywhere else. we had such a special few moments as a family laughing, dancing.

beautiful, just beautiful.

sunshine

i had my first midwife appointment yesterday and she is really lovely which is nice. nine months is a long time and when your pregnant it can be very personal and quite a roller coaster of a ride so its good to know you can trust and open up to her.


my first scan is on the 19th of august which i am really excited about. cant wait to meet our baby.


i am absolutely loving this summer, spending all this time with jim and jorja is great. i love te fact that jim always has the summer off, its our family time together.


we are all going for a picnic on the beach soon so im off to get ready. enjoy the sun!

been a while!

ok well i know its been a while but i have been away with jim and jorja and a whole bunch of youth from our church for the week. we got back on sat which is jims bday so we are all slightly knackered but had a fab time. i am now over 10 weeks and have my first midwife appointment tomorrow which i am really looking forward too. this is just a short but sweet blog and i will hopefully write more soon x

proud

this is a blog dedicated to jim. my fantastic husband.

i am so very proud of him and all his achievements. he has worked so hard for them and things are starting to happen. very exciting!

jims studio, mango studios was set up just over two years ago. it has been a dream of his to do and im so glad he has got it.

he has just brought a new van and had the most fantastic graphics put on it. they look great and already he his drumming up a fair bit of buisness.

so well done my darling, congratulations on setting your sights high and working hard to get to your dream.

i am very glad to be your wife x

good times

i have had a really lovely day today. you know when things pan out much better than you thought they would?!

our car was going to have to go to the garage on thursday to have the window wiper motor replaced at a jaw dropping £400 which we just dont have. so jim called out rac to have a look which they couldnt fix so jim went online and found out what could be the problem and has fixed it! what a lovely man he is!

been out for lunch and dinner today which has been a real treat! very tired now though so im off to bed!


night xxx

musings

not really sure how im feeling to be honest. im am excited about this pregnancy, it is very different from my last.

i have had no morning sickness which has been fantastic and i know god played a huge part in that. i am looking at this pregnancy through different eyes. im thinking more positively and believing in my body more to do what it needs to do.

james can home from work yesterday with a present for me. its a t-shirt that he had printed that has baby inside written on it. it was so sweet of him to think of me and i really appreciated it.

so many people are convinced i am having a boy this time which is fine with me. we have never been 'oh it has to be a girl' or vice versa we are just so happy to be having another child. so many people around me, good friends have struggled to get pregnant and it is so hard to see. i know i am blessed to have the chance to extend our family and i am truly grateful.

one of my friends is pregnant and her due date was yesterday so i am praying for a safe delivery and protection for her and her husband.

labour is something that you can never fully describe to someone no matter how many times you have done it. i know that each labour is different. when you talk to other mums who have experienced it you can appreciate what they are telling you but it is a unique experience for the mother and no one could ever tell you exactly what to happened or what to expect.

really hope my midwife is in touch soon to arrange the booking in appointment before we go away.

anyway enough from me.

feeling good!

today is a good day! im am not as tired which has been great. means i can do more housework and run around after jorja!

im seven and a half weeks and feeling the bump! pretty much everyone knows im pregnant just by looking at me!

be nice to have my first midwife appointment soon chat things over with her.

im feeling

excited
enjoyed baking fairy cakes
happy about going away next week
joyful
positive none of this half empty stuff
relaxed
content
slightly hungry
proud
loved


and i could go on.

one thing that has always been a pet hate is people who dwell on bad things or cant see the best out of what they have. it is something that i work really hard on. moaning makes it worse. why do you think people always say laughter is the best kind of medicine?!

so for all you reading ......... "always look on the bright side of life!" as someone treasured showed me this week.

emotions

today has been a day full with emotions.

i had a funeral to go to which is always a sad occasion especially when you knew them well. it was a real celebration of his life and a wonderful service.

im sitting feeling very grateful that im not having morning sickness. i am taking a different approach to this pregnancy and trusting god. my last pregnancy was awful with a lot of things out of my control but i am believing this pregnancy to be a positive experience.

i am a women of god designed to have babies and that is what i am going to do. my body knows what it is doing and i am just making sure i look after myself.

i am just over seven weeks and its been good!

food!

today has been an odd day, i have gone from eating plenty to small amounts. although i have had a massive bowl of Italian ice cream! where i live there is a beautiful italian ice cream shop that is delicious! it is a lovely pick me up and treat! jorja has been a darling the last few days and i have enjoyed this weekend a lot!

last night i threw a surprise birthday party for jim. it was great he had no clue and everyone dressed up as superheroes! his birthday isnt until the 2nd of august so i think thats why it stayed a surprise! fab! im just glad we managed to pull it off!

just going to snuggle down with my husband and watch a film with some goodies!

perfect way to end the weekend! x

its been a while!

this week has been really busy through nothing really! very odd.

just been to the cinema with jim, amy and rob, that was fun . haven't really had much time with jim this weeks. he has been really busy with work which has been hard but you gotta do what you gotta do. right?

in less then 2 weeks we have got the whole of the summer holidays together and i cant wait.

its easier for me to put how i feeling in bullet points with regards to my pregnancy or else i would waffle for ages!

excited
tired
hormonal
loved
blessed
jorja as a big sister
peace
joy

and on that note im off to bed x

little pickle!

jorja has been a little pickle today so i was glad to being going on a ladies night! about 40 + women got together at an indian restaurant and pigged out! it was fab!

im really hoping i see my midwife soon as my 'bump' is getting quite noticeable already! im sure it because it is my second pregnancy quite close together but i just want to make sure!

had my first pot of cherries today and it was great, just what i fancied!

hormones!

today has been a good day. had church this morning which was good then came home for lunch and i felt tired and grumpy and hormonal really. both me and jorja ended up having an afternoon nap which definitely made me feel better but i was still grumpy! i am very thankful that i have a loving husband and daughter that just let me be when hormones start taking over!

feeling so much better now though, jorja was just lovely this evening and really threw herself into bath time which is always fun to see. jorja was such a joy when she was a baby. she slept right through the night from 5 weeks and was so content. i am pleased to say that she is still an utter joy and if every child was like her people would have loads of children! now i know i am her mother so i am totally bias but she really is so beautiful in every way. i am so proud to call her my daughter.

james has been lovely too, he really is such a hands on dad who gets stuck in there and is always making sure she is cared for in every way possible. he comes in from work and whisks her away into very special daddy daughter time so i can relax and put my feet up.

i love the life we have together and i know our marriage will stand the test of time. we may be young but when you know its right, its right! he is my other half, the better half and i am his.

we have had a really nice chinese together tonight and relaxed with each other. lovely. just lovely.

lazy mornings

this morning has been a lazy morning and me and jorja have thoroughly enjoyed it! ive got a friend popping down soon for lunch then tonight its film night at the youth club i run.

i am six weeks tomorrow and cant believe it! i keep looking and jorjas newborn pictures. it feels such a long time ago and yet it has only been 18 months! jorja is so helpful at the moment and understanding so much each day, i love watching here grow into her own person. i often look at her and wonder what she will do with her life, how she will look and so on! very exciting!

i love my little family.

let it rain!

ive had the worst headache for the best part of two days now and i just need it to chuck it down with rain and i will feel so much better! all the pressure builds and it really hurts! i was in bed by 9pm last night!

jenni and tudor have just been over which was nice, especially seeing jen. shes great.

i have made chocolate brownies and resisted the urge to eat them all! i could quite easily, they are delicious even if i do say so myself!

:)

tiredness and sunshine

i have had a lovely day today, went into hythe with my mum and jorja. i had a facial and mum had a back massage, it was fantastic.

the weather has been gorgeous again and long may it last, everything feels better when the sun is shining!

the only thing that i am finding difficult is the need for sleep all the time! but hay ho, if that is my only worry im doing pretty good! x

just lovely

today has been 'just lovely' i went to church this morning which was great, jim played base and the band sounded fab, then went and met di and steve and headed to west wood cross. had a lovely meal which they treated us too. very nice and really appreciated.

had a mooch round the shops.

both me and jorja fell asleep on the way home, really odd to be napping as much as i am! i hate sleeping the the day! but if thats what bean needs thats what bean gets!

had some friends over tonight which is always fun and relaxing and now im listening to jim playing zelda on his wii!

i cant believe it but i am having to wear a few of my maternity trousers!!!!!!! i feel like a fraud as im so early on in the pregnancy but for some reason its like my body has just taken off from when i was last pregnant with jorja!

had the midwife phone me on friday to let me know they had received my form and would meet up with me in the next few weeks! very exciting! i am already 5 weeks and 1 day. its actually going fairly quickly!

bean says bye!!! xxx

precious moments

today has been filled with precious moments.

i have and always will believe that it is the little things in life that mean the most. like someone remembering your favourite flower or taking 5 mins out of there day to say hi. things like that.

i woke up like i do most days, go in and see jorja have a wee and make her breakfast (washing my hands in between of course!) then waking jim and saying i love you.

he then tells me to rest and that he is taking jorja food shopping to spend some daddy daughter time and so that i don't have to worry trying to do it in the week.

while they are gone i decide to have a sort out in jorjas room and remember she has two boxes under her changing table that are full of new clothes!

she has just run out of jeans and low and behold i find two gorgeous pairs, and loads of tops and a coat, all from her 1st birthday! God has always provided for us and today was no different. how amazing, it was so incredible to find them and remember the special people that had brought them for her.

jim and jorja arrive home with all the shopping and i can see jorja holding a bunch of flowers that she brought straight up to me with the look of pure joy. that is such a fab feeling when you know your husband has had the thought to buy the flowers but then get jorja to give them to me. so special.

but the treats did not stop there! jim brought me:

watermelon, just what i needed
chocolate eclairs, not one bag but two!
j2o's
chocolate
and last but not least pistachios!


he really does know me! that's special that he remembered what foods make me happy.

then met up with mummy di and steve, jen and coral and maddy. jen had a fate where she works so we popped along for a bit but it got too hot so we went down to a pub nearby. di and steve treated us to lunch which was such a kind a thoughtful thing to do, again a precious moment for me.

THEN if that wasn't enough Jen presented us with some goodies from when she was in NZ and it was so great, she had thought of everyone and i love her for it.

finally jorja today has been beautiful and filled my day with endless joy but two things have really stood out. when i ask her where is mummy's bean? he comes over to me and points at my tummy then kisses it. amazing . a true big sis in the making. the other thing, i went in to see her in bed earlier and she was crying i knelt beside her and she pulled my face into hers, stroked my cheek and pointed at my eye and said "i", then put her hand on my chest and said "love" and then look at me and said "you".

need i say anymore?!?

thank you to all of you who have made my day. i am truly blessed.

thank goodness for jim!

man i love my husband! not only is he fantastic with jorja but he is amazing with me too!

yesterday and today i have had a 'slight' hormonal surge and he still thinks im great! for some reason this week i have been so tired that when jorja is asleep i am too!

as soon as he comes in from work he tells me to put my feet up and relax, he sorts out dinner, leftover housework and jorja. he is my rock and i love him.

so james if you read this it is especially for you, you are an inspiration to me and jorja.

thank you for all you do.

xxxxxxx

blessings

when i look at my life i know i am blessed. i have a wonderful little family and a great extended family.

as i sit here i keep thinking of the amazing miracle that is growing inside me. i was reading a pregnancy magazine today, i take most of there stuff with a pinch of salt, but they had a week by week description of whats going on with 'the bean' as we call it!

at four weeks our bean has a heartbeat! how fantastic is that. plus all its major organs have started forming.

i really am so excited.

when i look at jorja i often think wow, look what me and james have produced! i cant believe that such a gorgeous, funny and smart little girl started out like the bean in me now.

life is great x

look at me go!

ok three days in a row! that is impressive.

today has been a day of mixed emotion.

spent most of the day with my nan and sister and it was just great. my nan is one of those people that you are just drawn too, she makes me feel very special and loved. she is wonderful. she also spoiled jorja too.

my nan insisted on buying us lunch so me and amy (my sis) insisted on buying pudding! at lunch my arm decided to go into overdrive and knock my drink all down me! and when i say it went everywhere i mean EVERYWHERE! it looked like i had peed myself! i rushed to the loo to try and sort the problem but there is only so much wet wipes can do! i then realized that instead of doing the normal discrete thing and use a cubicle, i am standing in full view of everyone wiping all over my trousers and wondering why people were starring!

anyway i decided that the wet myself look was not for me so quickly hurried to a clothes shop and found a fab pair of maternity trousers for a fiver! now i know what your thinking, maternity clothes already but have no fear im not going mad i just thought it makes sense to buy something that i can actually wear in the next year. instead of having to put them at the bak of my wardrobe and pray that i can wear them again!

that was the easy part of the day!

i am a very positive and outgoing person at heart but there are a few things not even my heart can deal with. well for now anyway it is going to take time and i know that james and jorja are here and really that is all that matters.

im sure i could rant for longer but the main thing is i am sitting here and james is on the couch and i want to be there with him! plus the sweets are closer to him and thats just wrong!

well its official!

i went to the doctors today to fill out the form for the midwife and have started taking my folic acid.

i was given this 'welcome' pack that will have all my notes for this pregnancy, very check up routine test that kind of thing. i was filling in my personal details and it makes it feel so real! im so excited! jorja has been an angel as always, ive been more tired than usual and its like she knows! she goes off to read or play with her toys and just lets me be for a while. i love her so much and she really is a delight, she has made parenthood exciting and fun. i am so amazed by her everyday and can only imagine how fantastic she will play the role of 'big sis!"

james is always home late on a monday and wednesday, i miss him! we have been together for 6 years now and i still have butterflies when he walks into the room!

god really is great, he is there with me in the hard times and the good times and it is only when i am in a bad time that i can really see that he is at work. i have always believed that everything happens for a reason and that we get stronger when we embrace him through all situations.

i love my family very much they are so important to me.

as im sitting her typing and looking out at the sea i know i am blessed and that no matter what life throws at me i am part of the bigger picture.

its so refreshing to relax and be at peace. i love it!

i find it so amazing that i am just one women but i have so many roles!

wife
mother
daughter
sister
friend

i mean wow! if thats not enough to satisfy me then i dont know what is!

its begun!

well hello! this is my first of many posts! i want to start by telling you a bit about myself and go from there.

i am 21 years old, married the man of my dreams nearly three years ago and have had the most beautiful little girl with him. she is now 18 months ( it has gone so quickly!) before Jorja i was a health care assistant in a neuro rehab ward which was great. i am now a full time mum and wouldn't change it for anything. which then brings me to the reason i started this blog!

i am proud to announce that i am 4 weeks pregnant and very excited! my husband james is fantastic and it is wonderful to be carrying his child.

i found my first pregnancy difficult and hard. There were so many surrounding stresses that made it difficult to enjoy the process.

this pregnancy i am going to enjoy it and really relax myself in it, jorja is going to be such an amazing big sister!

anyway thats me for now, write soon x