lilly's miracle

happy 1st birthday noah!

2010-03-03T13:19:00.000-08:00

i cant believe a year has gone by! incredible! oh how i love you noah xxx

woah!

2010-02-24T13:38:00.000-08:00

this next next week noah will be one! one!!!! where has that time gone! i can't believe it!

spring

2010-02-20T05:02:00.000-08:00

so much is going on and so much is happening that it can be far to easy to forget the important things in life, everything moves at such a fast rate.

today is a family day, we are baking and cleaning and enjoying the sunshine.

simply being together and enjoying each other.

happy days are those spent with the ones you love :)

baking

2010-01-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

i love baking.

i love all kinds of baking.

i love making pancakes and goodies with jorja.

i love easy and complicated recipe books.

i love the smell of home baking.

i love the way it makes me feel.

i love the taste.

i love everything about it.

my creative outlet.

i love baking.

'stolen moments'

2010-01-17T14:57:00.000-08:00

tonight has been a night of pure joy.

there are some days when being a full time mum feels like the hardest job in the world. there is no 'manual' on how it should be done. our children rely on us but also want to be independent.

i am teaching my children the ways and values that will last them their lifetime. its a big responsibility.

i am a keen believer in routine and tonight was no exception. (well almost!)

noah woke from his nap, i got dinner ready, we sat at the table and then the fun began! there is a song we do at our toddler group about all the farmyard animals and i decided to start singing it! jorja followed suit and we were in full swing! we got to the part about a chicken and started to make chicken noises and flap ours arms when noah just collapsed in laughter! i mean real laughter, the type where they look like they are going to explode. a real belly laugh! it was there in that moment with my 2 beautiful children a memory was made. a precious memory.

we spent ages in laughter and play and pure delight.

normal routine then followed the wind down before bed, brushing of the teeth, pajamas, bottle of milk for noah, story and prayer for jorja, setting there music off, telling them how much i love them, making sure the night light is on and then shutting the door. knowing they are safe, happy and ready to sleep.

jim is out tonight so i chill and enjoy some 'me' time.

jim comes home, we chat about our evening apart and what we have been up too and we hear it. a little murmur on the monitor from noah. he often lets out little babbles in his sleep oh so very cute!

tonight i decided to go in and see him. not because he needed anything but because i wanted to. it is there in that moment, he is so peaceful and gorgeous i go in for a cuddle.

not only does he snuggle in but i am greeted with a beautiful smile and we go in search for james. cuddles galore for all of us, giggles as we do 'the chicken', smiles and yet more cuddles.

it is here in these 'stolen moments' in or out of routine that i know it is all worth it. every moment is worth it. being a mummy is what it is all about for me. i have been blessed with 2 adorable children and watching then grow and seeing the world through there eyes is magical and a pure pleasure.

children are not children for long and i intend on embracing every single moment.

snow!

2010-01-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

i love it! i love everything about it! the way everything looks pretty, the way you leave footprints on it when you walk. i especially going out in it with Jim, Jorja and Noah. perfect.

I LOVE SNOW!

christmas

2009-12-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

happy

candles

wrapping presents

family

friends

food

party

jorja

my nan

noah's first christmas

snow

baking

laughter

james

films

snuggles on the sofa

church

cleaning and sorting

lights

jesus

all my thoughts for the season.

merry christmas xxx

december!

2009-12-03T04:55:00.000-08:00

wahoo! i love this time of year :)

thoughts:

jorja

noah

birthday party

food

playtime

sleep

family

christmas

balloons

laughter

letters

in no particular order!

life is good, very good!

2009-11-25T07:02:00.001-08:00

life is good, very good! xxx

they grow up so fast!

2009-11-23T06:33:00.000-08:00

just watched noah pull himself up! im one proud mummy!!! clever noah x

porud!

2009-11-21T12:16:00.001-08:00

i am so proud of my mum, she is amazing. well done mummy! love you xxx

waiting

2009-11-18T06:24:00.001-08:00

why is it when you are waiting for something it takes forever?!?!

sleep!

2009-11-17T00:38:00.000-08:00

ok i know i have been extremely blessed with 2 good sleepers!

but.. when they do wake in the night my body is just not used to it! its two days in a row with noah and i know in the huge scheme of things it doesn't matter but i was tired before and now im shattered. me and jim both are.

ok well moan over!

happy tuesday everyone x

cuddles

2009-11-16T03:15:00.000-08:00

last night was a long night. noah was up from half two and didnt really go back to sleep. after teething gel, calpol, burping and anything else we could think of he ended up coming in our bed at half four!

he fell asleep within minutes. he just wanted snuggles. it doesnt matter what age you are i dont think it changes. if i wake in the middle of the night upset i always ask jim for a cuddle. there is nothing better then a cuddle from someone who loves you. the security and reassurance it brings. you cant beat it.

its the little things that count

2009-11-12T23:42:00.000-08:00

morning, well i think it is! noah was up at 5 am! never mind!

i am really looking forward to this weekend. the kiddies are having sleepovers on saturday eve so it will be just me and jim. we have both been stupidly busy lately and i feel like we are two ships passing at the moment! it is going to be so nice to spend quality time with him.

we are going to change our living room round get a few bits and pieces and just give the room a new look. im so excited! i cant wait!

i love tinkering with our home, finding ways to make it better.

its the little things that make a huge difference, i have always believed that. from a lick of paint to someone remembering your fave flower.

a small random act of kindness can do so much. there is nothing better.

family

2009-11-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

hello!

life is good! im a happy bunny and absolutely loving life!

noah is 8 months old today........ unbelievable! he is gorgeous, has 8 teeth and is loving all solid foods! he has just started crawling around which is gorgeous to see. and i love him.

jorja is gorgeous, such a happy, confident, social little girl. i think she is having a growth spurt at the moment, constantly hungry and eating all the fruit in sight! its her birthday soon and so plans are under way for her party. very exciting. and i love her.

james is handsome, loving, smart and following his dreams. im so proud of him. he works so hard and is an amazing husband and dad. and i love him.

so yeah, one very happy bunny :)

catch up

2009-09-11T01:55:00.000-07:00

how is it that it only feels like yesterday i was pregnant and here we are 6 months on!

noah is now 6 months old, loving solids, has 4 teeth and desperate to crawl!

i cant believe how much he has changed the first few years in children's lives is such a learning curve. so much happens.

jorja will be 3 in december..THREE!

when did that happen! i cant believe it. she is such a beautiful daughter and a fantastic big sister. she adores noah and is always keen to help out and loves being with him. it is so lovely to see. im so proud of her and the girl she has grown into.

me and james recently celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary which has just flown by! so much has happened!

i love him more today than yesterday but nowhere near as much as i will love him tomorrow.

he is a brilliant dad and gorgeous husband. i am so blessed to have met him.

i guess that is why my blogs are not kept up to date i have been too busy enjoying my beautiful family!

how time flies when your having fun!

2009-08-28T23:43:00.000-07:00

wow! i cant believe it has been so long since my last blog! i have a good excuse though! my babies are keeping me busy! i love being a mum and noah has completed our family. he is now 6 months old and eating everything going!

he has been kept under a consultant for a few months now, he had something called tongue tie that wasnt discovered at birth so he got very underweight for his age.

tongue tie is where the tongue is restricted in movement. a simple procedure is carried out where they cut under the tongue.

noah is doing so much better now. he is gorgeous if i do say so myself!

jorja is totally potty trained day and night! im so proud of her!

jim has had all the summer holidays off which has been lovely. we have gone for days out and just enjoyed some fantastic quality time as a family.

we have put our flat up for sale so we can buy a house. very exciting!

life is good, i love my family and couldnt be happier.

hope your all well! xxx

whoops!

2009-04-21T02:25:00.000-07:00

i cant believe its been so long since i last wrote on here!

my bad, have ben a tad busy though!

noah is now 7 weeks old and gorgeous!

jorja is loving nursery, she has started potty training and no longer has a bottle of milk in bed. she really is growing up so fast, she is beautiful.

james managed to get his leg pinned between a minibus and a car when helping a friend reverse into a tight spot. he has really hurt it and is off work at the mo.

so yeah lots happening!

oh and the sun is shining, hurrah!

early mornings!

2009-04-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

well im sitting here watching kids tv at 7am, after being awake with noah from 5am till 6am and sorting out jorja who mysteriously woke somewhere in the middle. i finally fell asleep and 20 mins later jorja is up and ready to start the day!

i love being a mum but some mornings its like 'really?!? your ready to start the day?!?!"

i have to say though that i am very blessed in the sleep department. jorja slept through from 5 weeks old and noah only wakes for 1 feed usually around 5 am. so i really cant grumble!

anyway, got back from center parcs friday afternoon, it was fantastic as i knew it would be.

we went with my mum, dad, sister and nan. it was brilliant. so relaxed and funny and really, really enjoyable.

i love my family so much, they are always there for me.

we have so much fun together, i know how truly blessed i am.

good times, even if i am writhing this at 7 am!!!!

holidays!

2009-03-29T14:19:00.000-07:00

off to centre parcs! see you in a week!!! x

good times!

2009-03-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

well im pleased to say the smith family are feeling much better.

its amazing how much we take our health for granted, it makes such a difference to everything when you dont feel well.

its been really nice being back to normal, running round after jorja, shopping, cuddles with noah etc.

i love being a mum and wife, its a privilege and im so blessed.

jim has got work till friday and then we have 3 wholes weeks together, im so excited. real family time. i love it.

the first week of our holidays we are going to centre parcs for a week with my mum, dad, sister and nan. i cant wait.

so yeah good times are here for the smiths and i intend to keep it that way x

heres to good health .......

2009-03-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

the last few weeks have been amazing having noah but also very hard.

i have had an infection of the uterus which has completely wiped me out.

my midwife was great and got me on antibiotics and my parents and jims mum and step dad have been great. really supportive.

cooking meals, having jorja, cleaning and the list goes on.

they really are very special.

i was just on the mend having rested for what felt like eternity when jorja had a severe allergic reaction and had to be taken to hospital.

jorja was very brave and i am pleased to say is feeling much better. we are just waiting for the blood results to find out what caused it.

again my family were there and jims too to help and support.

we really would be lost without them and it is so nice to know that there are there.

of course with everything that happened it put me right back where i was health wise so back to resting for me.

i did manage to enjoy some of this lovely sunshine today. went for a lovely walk just the four of us along the harbour.

it was so nice to be out and about.

blissful days

2009-03-07T11:18:00.000-08:00

well the last few days have gone by in a magical blur.

noah is now 4 days old and beautiful.

jorja is a fantastic big sister like i knew she would be and my husband is a tremendous support to me and loves me and tells me how proud he is.

we have been in undated in cards and visitors and cooked meals.

i am so happy.

yes my body is exhausted but it is so worth it, my family is complete and i couldn't be happier.

noah david smith

2009-03-05T06:55:00.000-08:00

has arrived!

born on the 3rd of march 2009 at 6:09am weighing in at 9lb 5oz.

march it is!

2009-03-01T01:37:00.001-08:00

ok well we are no longer having a feb baby! i cant believe it is march already!

got up early with jorja today, done the house work already. going to let jim sleep in for a while. then going for a nice walk along the beach, perfect.

lets just hope noah wants to join us soon.

still pregnant

2009-02-26T10:33:00.000-08:00

ok so i know im only 2 days over due but im so fed up and uncomfortable. ive got the midwife tomorrow so hopefully that will help.

anyway lets hope the next time i blog it will be to say how lovely our new arrival is!

due date

2009-02-24T00:11:00.000-08:00

ok so today is the 'big day' its my due date today.

i know the chances of him coming today are so slim but the fact that i have reached it safe and well is good.

the end really is in sight now.

i cant wait to meet him and spend the rest of my life watching him grow.

being a mum to jorja is a real pleasure and delight. i love her so much.

i cant believe we are going to have a boy this time! one of each, its going to be amazing.

but for now i am going to enjoy my last few hours/days of pregnancy and eat a zillion pancakes!!!

sunny days

2009-02-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

these last few days have been gorgeous weather. we have really made the most of it.

i love the freshness of spring, giving the home a good clean, fresh air, sunny walks. fantastic.

we have just come back from a really lovely walk with my mum, dad, sister and dog meg.

it was lovely playing on the beach, walking sitting in the sun and then having hot chocolate and chips in the cafe on the beach.

i feel so refreshed and content. nothing like a good walk to clear your head.

jorja loved it and seeing her have so much fun from something as simple as being out in the sun with her ball and my family.

i am very happy, the smiths are in a good place and things are getting better daily. each day is better than the last. its excellent.

soon noah will be here to join in the fun.

perfect.

contractions

2009-02-17T01:19:00.001-08:00

ok, so today is tuesday the 17th of feb and i have been having contractions on and off since the 13th. i'm tired and ready to meet our son now. i know he will come when he is good and ready. im just impatient!

the whole house had a major clean yesterday, i mean windows and everything! i was at it for 3 hrs just couldn't stop! i did look a sight! especially scrubbing the kitchen floor!

well i have 7 days till he is due so lets just wait and see.

13 days

2009-02-10T11:02:00.000-08:00

ok so the count down is really on now and i am hoping and praying that noah arrives early.

i cant wait to give him a cuddle and watch him grow.

reflections

2009-02-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

i cant believe that im nearly done being pregnant for the second time in 3 years! where has that time gone?

im sitting here on the sofa watching my gorgeous girl sitting at the table with her daddy eating her dinner like a 'big girl'.

it seems so hard to believe that just over 2 years ago i was at the end of my pregnancy and awaiting her arrival like i am with noah.

jorja is an amazing girl (bias i know). i am so proud that she is my daughter. she is something that me and james have made and to be honest being a parent is the best thing ive done.

the love i have for her is so strong.

she is doing new things each day, it is such a joy to watch and be part of it.

i have 15 days to go till my due date and i cant wait to meet noah and give him a cuddle and watch him grow.

i got married over 3 years ago to james and in that time so many fantastic things have happened.

i know how blessed i am to have james as my husband. he really is great. he brings me happiness even if he does sound like a warthog when he snores!!!!

i feel safe and secure in who i am.

i have everything i need and more.

so here is to another 50+ years being married to the man of my dreams watching our children grow.

20 days

2009-02-04T06:57:00.001-08:00

ok so i have only 20 days to go and i cant wait to be on the other side and just get on with being a mum. jorja has been brilliant but i miss the nice cuddles and carries. my belly is just too big to support her. that and the "trapped at home feeling". it is agony to walk to far and way too painful to drive. i am always such an active person and me and jorja are hardly home. always meeting up with people and playing out and just fun things like that.

i find it hard asking for help and i am having to do it a lot at the moment. my family and friends are really great and supportive so that helps, just cant help but feel like a burden.

still not long and it will all be back to normal and i can enjoy the future with my 2 precious children and amazing husband.

sounds good to me!

come on baby!

2009-01-30T10:05:00.001-08:00

everything is ready for him just awaiting for him to come now!

it will be so nice to finish this part now. im done with the pregnancy and not being able to drive or walk very far of carry and cuddle jorja properly. i cant get comfy ever and im tired of being tired all the time.

i am such a doer and i love packing loads into each day and being out and about socialising and generally keeping busy. these past few weeks have meant doing as little as possible, im so tired ive have to cancel all my evening arrangements.

anyway moan over, i know its not for much longer and i am blessed to even be pregnant. im just being impatient.

still 3 weeks and 3 days left!

baby shower!

2009-01-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

on saturday evening i thought i was just going out for a little drink with my mum and friend karen. they came to pick me up only for me to realise that they had actually planned a surprise baby shower for me.

it was so lovely to walk into mums lounge filled with friends and family and blue balloons and a lovely big stalk balloon.

we were given so many lovely baby things and toys and lots of blue!

the food was great too.

i had felt so tired in the day that i was going to cancel on my mum and have a quiet night in! it was just the boost i needed.

so much fun and i am so proud of everyone keeping it a secret for so long! even jim!

i have only got 4 weeks left now, hospital bags are all packed, everything is awaiting his arrival. all i want to do now is have a cuddle with him!

xxxxxx

tiredness

2009-01-23T02:40:00.001-08:00

ok so over the last few weeks i have been really struggling with sleep, usually surviving on about 4hr blocks.

it is really difficult because i am so tired all the time yet i cant get comfy enough to let my body rest. i have been scraping sleep here and there in the day where i can.

my mum and jims mum have been great and had jorja for the day so i can just sleep and rest.

in a time like this support is the key and the people that we have around us have been great.

last night however i managed 7 whole hours sleep! how amazing.

feel like pants today though but still, seven hours!

jorja is being a complete angel and is so understanding for her age that mummy needs to rest on the couch sometimes. she will often come and give me cuddles or kisses.

i am so thankful that i have her as my daughter. she is amazing and i am so proud of mine and jims genes! we did something right!!!

today the weather is rubbish so me and jorja are having a chill day playing with toys, having fun, colouring and eating!

what more could us girls want!

love

2009-01-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

i just want to say "JIM I LOVE YOU" x

celebration

2009-01-17T02:22:00.000-08:00

i love the weekends, two whole days to spend together as a family. perfect.

thoughts:

the sun is shining
jorja
making rice crispy cakes with her later
spring cleaning
noah
happy feelings.

i rang my midwife yesterday to get the get the results of my strep B test that i had done. when i was pregnant we found out i had strep B and that i would need anti-biotics when i went into labour. strep B is very harmful to the new born but has not effect on the mother.

strep B tests are not routine here and i really think they should be. i only found out because i went to the hospital with abdominal pain when i was pregnant with her.

anyway it meant that as soon as labour started with jorja i had to go to the hospital asap to start the anti-biotics. they made me feel really sick and it was all a bit of a blur and very stressful.

when i went into this pregnancy i prayed to god that he would protect me from this stress and that i didnt want strep B for this pregnancy. i wanted to be able to labour in my own way in a relaxed environment.

the only way this could happen is if the test can back negative this time.

its hard to explain but you can have strep B for one pregnancy and not the other of you might always have it.

anyway i got the phone call i had been waiting for yesterday........... it was NEGATIVE! what an answer to prayer. i am so excited this time round as i am able to let my body do what it needs to without intervention.

so yeah very excited!

happy, happy, happy!

emotional outbursts

2009-01-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

i have found this last week really hard.

my hormones have completely taken over and my body is exhausted.

one minute i am happy and content, the next i am sobbing my heart out.

life is an emotional roller coaster anyway and recently things have been difficult.

jim and i have had to make a big decision in our lives and it has been really hard. i dont want to go into detail about it. its personal and i wouldnt know where to begin.

all i know is that we have had to do what is best for our little family.

i am getting near the end of my pregnancy now and am feeling really tired and uncomfortable. hence the mood swings and sudden outbursts.

jim is amazing and he is there for me when i need him the most. he is a great husband and a brilliant dad.

i love, support and respect him.

i had to go to the hospital recently because i was getting really bad tightening's around my tummy and hadnt been feeling great. everything is ok, they monitored me and said that it was likely to have braxton hicks. very painful ones i might add!

i had a consultant appointment yesterday and he has requested that i have another scan in two weeks time as he thinks the baby is 'bigger' than my weeks. i am 34 weeks and my bump measured 37 weeks! i am not worried by it. i am excited to see my little boy again and i know that god is in control.

anyway that is me for now.

she loved it!

2009-01-13T03:39:00.000-08:00

well as i expected jorja absolutely loved nursery.

she was so excited and as soon as we arrived she went to the table with all the children and sat down to eat her lunch.

apparently she was a bit upset after i had gone but then spent the next 2 hours playing and having fun!

when i arrived to pick her up she had her coat on and was standing at her table waiting for me. it was incredible. she looked like a proper little girl.

she had done a painting and some colouring to take home which was nice.

so yeah as scary as i found it i know that she had a great time and that is the most important thing.

well done jorja, mummy and daddy are so proud x

a new chapter

2009-01-12T00:48:00.000-08:00

i cant believe its been over a week since my last blog.

the main big thing that has happened is the jorja is starting nursery today!

it is such a weird feeling. she is only two and yet she is so ready for it. i am a full time stay at home mum so i don't need her to go for work reasons. i just know that she is such a sociable girl that she will benefit from it.

i took her to see the nursery on Friday thinking that like all the others there would be a long waiting list and that i had done the right thing in registering her but wouldn't actually have to take her yet!

as we walked into the room she immediately had her coat off and was getting stuck right in and playing with all the children as if she had done it for years.

the lady who runs it was really lovely and welcoming and as we talked through what happens next, she said that they did have spaces and jorja could start Monday afternoon. arrgh!

jorja will only be going for one afternoon a week to start off with and then in a few weeks go for two afternoons if she is enjoying it.

im sure she will. i am so proud of her.

dont get me wrong i am excited by this new chapter but also apprehensive.

i love jorja very much and cant believe how quickly she is growing up. it only feels like yesterday that we found out i was pregnant with her!

with only a few weeks till our new addition arrives i am glad that jorja will be settled into the routine of nursery. i didnt want her to feel like her baby brother arrives and then she has to go to nursery.

so there you go, its monday morning and in a few hours i will be dropping her off for the first time.

she has stayed with different family and friends but this time it is different, they are complete strangers to us. i know that they will look after her but still, i am nervous!

i will let you know how we get on!

she did it!

2009-01-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

this afternoon we have let jorja be nappy free in the hope that potty training will commence soon. she did a tiny wee on the carpet and said 'toilet mummy' took her to the toilet and she sat there and told me she had finished.

Although nothing happened she has been on and off the toilet for a few months. she has been curious about using the loo for a while. always wanting to come to the toilet with me. we have explained what happens and the process of going to the loo using toilet roll, flushing the toilet and then washing and drying your hands.

then just now she said to jim she needed the toilet, all of a sudden i heard jim say 'thats right, well done jorja!"

i rushed in and she had done it! a wee on the toilet! without and accidents!

i cannot tell you how proud of her i am! we were all in the bathroom praising her and clapping!

its the small things in life that are great.

well done jorja, mummy and daddy are very proud of you x

2009

2009-01-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

i am so ready for 2009. bring it on.

this is the year for so many new beginnings.

as i have said before the last few years have been hard. what with deaths in the family, divorce, illness, family issues. its been tough.

on the flip slide it has also been the best few years of my life, got married to the man of my dreams had a beautiful girl, being pregnant with our son, owning our own place, building and strengthening relationships.

2009 brings the birth of our little boy. that is the only certainty. the rest i am not sure but one thing i do know i am not going to let people or situations rob me of my happiness. people can hurt, upset and scar you but it is how you let it affect the future that counts.

i am surrounded by so much love. i am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend.

i couldn't ask for anything more.

jim

2008-12-27T14:59:00.000-08:00

its been ages since my last blog, i have been poorly for some of it and then all the build up to christmas and spending time with family and friends.

i have only got 8 weeks to go now till my due date. the end is in sight!

i dont really know what to put down, so many thoughts are running through my brain .......... family, jorja, pregnancy, jim.

i am so happy, content and excited about the future.

i am as in love with jim as the day i met him and more. he is a fantastic man and i would truly be lost without him.

he is amazing. gentle, kind, loving and very caring. a fantastic dad and a doting husband.

i am so proud to be his wife, to be carrying his son and be the mother to jorja.

thank you darling for the love you show day in and day out xxx

Jorja

2008-12-10T14:10:00.001-08:00

happy 2nd birthday Jorja, you are the best daughter any mother could ask for. mummy and daddy love you lots x x x

pure amazment!

2008-12-09T12:36:00.001-08:00

wow, what a week so far and its only tuesday eve!

on sat me and jim went for a 4d scan, fantastic. it was really incredible seeing our little man in that much detail. such a lovely present.

from seeing him we have decided to name him Noah David Smith.

then if that wasnt enough, i have been busy getting ready for jorja's 2nd birthday tomorrow. i am so excited! ive spent the day baking her cake and some little cakes and jelly. just finished decorating the place.

i cant believe she is going to be 2 tomorrow. where has that time gone?

it seems like only yesterday that i was pregnant with her and here we are 2 years on.

i am very happy and im going to make sure she has the best day.

happiness

2008-12-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

today is a good day, not just today but here on in. i am happy and that is how it should be. only i can control my past and live for the future and i am not going to let anyone or thing get in the way of true happiness. i am happy with my little family and that is how it should be.

its very exciting and liberating to let go of things that have hurt me in the past and look to the future knowing that it is going to be special because of jim jorja and soon to be baby boy.

friends and family are there to love, support, encourage and add to the pleasure of life.

i am very blessed by the love surrounding me.

positive thinking

2008-11-24T12:18:00.000-08:00

ive been thinking a lot lately, sometimes too much.

jim and i have been married for just over 3 years and in that time there has been a lot of heartache, some of which we are still having to deal with.

i must add that none of this heartache is what we have caused each other. it has always been situations out of our control.

it would be really easy to hide away from it all but as we all know if you dont deal with issues as they arise they always come back to bite you all over again.

i am a very blessed lady to be married to the most amazing man of god. have the sweetest girl who is nearly two and be expecting a little boy in 13 weeks time.

now is the time for us to put our little family first and really enjoy our time together. life is so precious and i dont want to miss out on a thing.

i have him, he has me and we both have jorja and baby boy.

perfect.

aches

2008-11-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

for the last few days i have been much more uncomfortable, cant seem to sit still and feeling slightly sorry for myself! i know its the usual stuff but today especially im feeling really rotten.

phoned the midwife and she said to take paracetamol, have a bath and rest.

i could just do with a bit of tlc. it will probably feel much better tomorrow, everything usually does.

i am terrible, i forget that im pregnant and just get on with the usual stuff but i think my body is telling me to take it easy and look after myself. easier said than done with a soon to be 2 yr old!

i feel like a washing machine on a fast spin, he is really moving about!

only 13 and a bit weeks to go.

nearly there

2008-11-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

i cant believe that there is only 14 1/2 weeks till baby boy arrives! madness! its so exciting to think that our family will be complete.

i also cant believe that jorja will be 2 in 3 weeks! where has the time gone?!?!

i really need to get organized for the new arrival, things to buy, things to arrange. i want to get sorted! x

exciting times

2008-11-06T00:24:00.000-08:00

i havent written in here for a while, i havent felt the need.

things are ticking along with this pregnancy quite nicely. i am starting to get tired again and the usual aches but apart from that i feel great.

work has really started taking off with mango studios, its really great and soon we are hoping that jim can do it full time. he loves it and i love seeing him happy. its win win! x

life is good x

he can feel him too!

2008-10-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

last night was fantastic! i was laying in bed being kicked about by the little man growing inside me and jim finally felt it too!

the baby has been moving for ages, he really beats me up and i have been waiting for weeks for jim to feel him too. i am so pleased and excited!

we only have 17 weeks left until we meet the little fella and i cant wait!

hair cuts!

2008-10-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

took jorja for her first hair cut today and she absolutely loved it! i cant believe how grown up she is! sitting up in the high chair talking to the lady. so sweet. she looks so grown up. its one of those things where i think its a big deal but other people will be like enough with the hair already! its another first of jorja's and i am so proud to be her mummy.

emotional feelings

2008-10-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

wow, its been a really emotional day for me today. i keep crying for no real reason. pregnancy hormones are really kicking in. i go from happy and smiley to sad and crying in minutes. i go from feeling relaxed to feeling like a prize idiot. it is so weird and the worse thing is because of who i usually am its 10 times worse. i hate the thought of offending people or upsetting them i always have done and i worry what i say to people. then add pregnancy into the equation and I'm panicking that i have offended people when i know deep down i haven't but my mind keeps playing tricks on me. its really hard. i am the sort of person who wakes up in the middle of the night and worries about something that i said to someone even though i know its fine. arrh! I'm sure tomorrow i will be fine and not so emotional but right now i cant see it! I'm not even sure that this makes sense to anyone who reads it. but i guess it doesn't matter. in some weird way i feel a bit better just for writing. even if it doesn't make sense! i know what I'm trying to say.

good times are here again

2008-10-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

we saw our son again today for the last time until he is born. it was amazing we were all there and jorja knew we were going to see him so she was excited too.

when we first got pregnant jorja still seemed so young but when you look at her now its like she has doubled in years. she is so clever and pretty. a right chatter box too!

had a tough weekend with jims dad. it has got to the stage where we can no longer see him. it has been a long and difficult journey that will continue.

for now though we are focusing on us and the happiness we share. its about time we were able to do that. so many circumstances have stopped us from doing that.

so here is to you little boy, cant wait to meet you and nor can your sister.

baby boy!

2008-10-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a really great day. i took my mum and mummy di to our 20 week scan. how amazing to see the little person moving and growing inside. so exciting. the anticipation of finding out what we were having was incredible and when she said "looks like a boy to me!" i couldnt quite believe it! i mean obviously they dont say 100% but a boy has boy bits! one of each, fantastic.

me and di and jorja went shopping after and di brought loads of blue, its so nice to say my son and my daughter. very exciting.

hard times

2008-10-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

well, since my last blog i am really having to put my words into action. so much has happened in such a short space of time. again.

things are at an all time low with jims dad, too painful to go into but as from now we will no longer be spending time with him. he has chosen his path and we have to chose was is best for us and jorja.

i also had a so called friend send me a very hurtful message on face book saying that i am self centered and insensitive to her needs. it is all very painful but basically boils down to the fact that she wants a little girl but cant have one. of course i have jorja but i am also pregnant. she is in a lot of pain and unfortunately i am an easy target.

despite all this i have never felt closer to jim and our love grows with each day. being jorjas mum is a privilege and i am overwhelmed with love for her.

the three of us, soon to be four have gone through all these 'messy' situations and yet here we are close and in love.

whatever life throws at us i know we are going to be fine. we have each other.

plus, tomorrow i am going for my 20 week scan and hopefully finding out the sex of our bundle of joy. very exciting!

new beginnings

2008-10-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

so much has happened and keeps happening that i feel overwhelmed by it all. there are good things and bad things.

its funny how so many things can happen in such a short space of time. the last three years have felt like such a roller coaster and some days i want to get off and other days i would happily stay on the ride forever.

when i look around i see hurt all around. people who are ill, desperate to find 'mr right', financial worries and so on.

it would be very easy for me to say that everything is hunky dory and couldnt be better.

jim and i have had a difficult time with such a lot of things going on with our families. things that would tear people apart but actually we are stronger than ever.

i always here people say" if there is a god then why is this happening?"

it is a question with many answers but for me i believe and always will, that when things get tough it is easy to blame someone else for how you react or deal with the situation.

when i lost my nan i felt such pain, i miss her i wanted her to meet jorja and to just enjoy spending more time with her.

my nan was a very brave lady and battled with cancer for many years. she had had enough and if i had to choose between spending more time with her for my own selfish reasons or letting her go and be in peace i know i can take great comfort in knowing that she is now pain free and happy. what more could i possibly want for her now.

life can always be bitter sweet, just when everything is going 'to plan' a spanner get's thrown into the works.

it is very easy to dwell on the hard and painful things that happen and forget about all the amazing things that are and keep happening.

i have had my fair share of misery but i have enjoyed many fantastic and exciting things too.

so this is a tribute to my nan, i still love her dearly and miss seeing her face but now is the time to remember all the amazing and fun times we have shared. she has had a lot of impact on my life and i want to live it to the full.

i know it is easy to write about good times when things are going well but it is important that we write about the good things when it gets tough.

it is true that every cloud has a silver lining and i am finding mine .............

here we go again.

2008-09-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

ok so when me and jim decided to have baby number 2 we were very excited but also keen to have a smooth pregnancy without any stressful situations going on. i know you cant predict the future but we were really hopeful that things couldn't be any worse than last time ..........

i guess we were wrong.

im fine, the baby is fine and this pregnancy has been a lot easier than the last but unfortunately the 'stressful' situations are just as hard as last time.

a couple of months into the pregnancy jim's nan became increasingly ill. she fought long and hard but unfortunately she passed away. this was very difficult to see the one i love and his family going through the heartache of loosing her.

it reminded me all too much of loosing my own nan.

jims nan had tb which is a very infectious disease which has caused concern as to whether we have got it. very worrying thinking jorja could have it.

jorja has been unwell with chest infection after chest infection which worried me further into thinking that maybe she had tb.

went to the doctor today and she no longer has a chest infection and professionals assure me it is very unlikely she has tb. phew.

we find out jims dad has a strain of tb, which is not contagious but still, not very nice for him.

then just when you think enough is enough we have had our fair share we find out jims granddad has bowel cancer which understandably thrown his family completely. jims granddad Ken is such a lovely man and made me feel very welcomed into the family.

so there that is me up to date.

there is a lot going on but i know it will be ok. i have jim and he has me and we both have a beautiful little girl who has despite all the tragedy kept us laughing and full of love.

excitment

2008-09-12T14:41:00.000-07:00

i am in a really good mood and why not!

i have a gorgeous and very loving husband, and beautiful and amazing daughter and another addition coming in feb.

i had my midwife appointment on the 9th which was lovely, jorja was with me and we sat there listening to the heart beat. fantastic.

busy, busy,busy!

2008-09-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

well what a day!

today my dad has been successfully commissioned to be the pastor of cbc! so exciting! the service was amazing and i am so proud of him!

then my dad being him decided to have about 40 of the people go to the prince of india for dinner. it was a really special time.

and jim because you read this the worship was fantastic.

jorja was brilliant she behaved beautifully and really is a dream.

if that wasnt enough little bean wanted to have a slice of the action and have a boogie! i have felt it move a little but tonight was the start of the kicking! very exciting! i will be 16 weeks on the 9th.

all in all a very good day! x

its been a while!

2008-09-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

ok, well my bad for leaving it so long but so much has happened in a very short space of time.

firstly cornwall was amazing. it was so nice to get away and just be us! it was really great spending time with mummy di and steve. we dont get much time with just them so it was a really special time.

yesterday was jim's nans funeral. i have been to a few before and lost my own nan so i knew what to expect.

it is really hard watching the one you love go through so much heartache and grief. i am glad i was able to be there with him.

it was jim's first full day back at work today and i really missed him. i love spending time with him and apparently 6 weeks just isnt long enough!

today is also the 2nd second anniversary of my nans death and i miss her dearly. she was and always will be a special woman in my life. she was so entertaining and such a giver.

today has a lot of mixed emotion, my nan, jim being back at work and i am 15 weeks pregnant today.

wow, it is a good job i have an excuse to be hormonal!!!

tomorrow is a special day for me and jim. its our 3rd wedding anniversary. i cant believe how quickly the time has gone. i loved him then, and love him even more now.

2008-08-24T13:04:00.001-07:00

im off to cornwall so chat when i get home! x

mixed feelings

2008-08-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a difficult day.

it started out as planned with me, jim, jorja and my sister going to the hospital for my first scan.

it was so magical seeing the baby move about and watching the heart beating. very emotional and exciting.

we also let jorja and amy come in after everything look ok so they got to see it too. jorja just kept looking at it and saying "BEAN'. it was a really lovely moment.

we found out that i am actually 13 weeks now which is exciting!

jim, jorja and amy went back to the car whilst i waited to have my blood tests done.

i got to the car just after one and that is when jim told me his nan had passed away a few moments before.

sadness, utter sadness.

it was a difficult day from there because we had previously arranged that jorja would stay at di and steves for the night and me and jim were going to have a relaxing afternoon and evening together.

jorja did go to di's but it was very odd. didnt know how to feel really. i just wanted to do whatever jim felt he needed to do.

so thats what we did.

and thats is what we will keep on doing.

fun, fun, fun!

2008-08-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

so much has happened since my last blog.

this week has been really tough as jims nan is very poorly in hospital so we have been there all week and meeting loads of family members.

we have just become so tired. it really is an emotional roller coaster that i wish i could make all better.

seeing jims nan reminded me of my nan who died nearly two years ago. i miss her so much and it brings it all back.

i am supporting jim in the best i can. i just hope its enough.

when you love someone so much its really hard seeing them in pain and wondering what is going to happen.

on a brighter note, it was my birthday yesterday which was hard with everything that is going on but jim made it special for me.

i had so many cards and special gifts. i also got money so now i just need to figure out what to buy with it!

today jim has gone to see lee evans which was my birthday present to him so thats nice that he has got something to enjoy and take his mind of things.

hopefully i will try and keep things more up to date on here, getting a bit slow on my part!

i am 12 weeks tomorrow! how quick has that gone?!?!?!

pondering

2008-08-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

this weekend has been filled with emotions. some of pure joy and others of sadness.

im not sure what i want to write today. all i know is that i wanted to write something.

this weekend has been a time with family, pulling together and knowing that just being there can make a difference.

i think i am going to leave it at that for now.

relaxing

2008-08-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

today has been a good day, a great day.

in the school holidays me and jim take it in turns to get up with jorja, give her breakfast and entertain her while the other gets some well earned sleep!

today was my day to sleep. jorja is always very excited to see daddy when she firsts wakes because usually its me so the holidays are a real treat for her. because of this she always sings at high volume with pure excitement and joy.

its lovely to hear but i rarely get to lay in because once I'm awake i have to get up.

this morning jim got up i heard him and jorja then the next thing i know i hear the front door and it is nine am!

i actually slept in!

jim had taken jorja out for breakfast and brought some shopping and generally stayed out so i could sleep.

how amazing is he!

it doesn't stop there though, jorja came into our bedroom gave me a huge hug and her and jim presented me with breakfast in bed.

how blessed am i?!?!?

he had even left me a note to say they had gone out and he loved me. he knows me. he knows that if i had of woken to find them not there i would have worried.

i love the fact that he knows me.

jorja has been beautiful today. she always is. today though she was extra beautiful.

we were all in the car on the way home and jorja started copying everything we did. for example if i moved my arms she would do the same. it was so funny and in that moment i knew i didn't want to be anywhere else. we had such a special few moments as a family laughing, dancing.

beautiful, just beautiful.

sunshine

2008-08-06T01:19:00.001-07:00

i had my first midwife appointment yesterday and she is really lovely which is nice. nine months is a long time and when your pregnant it can be very personal and quite a roller coaster of a ride so its good to know you can trust and open up to her.

my first scan is on the 19th of august which i am really excited about. cant wait to meet our baby.

i am absolutely loving this summer, spending all this time with jim and jorja is great. i love te fact that jim always has the summer off, its our family time together.

we are all going for a picnic on the beach soon so im off to get ready. enjoy the sun!

been a while!

2008-08-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

ok well i know its been a while but i have been away with jim and jorja and a whole bunch of youth from our church for the week. we got back on sat which is jims bday so we are all slightly knackered but had a fab time. i am now over 10 weeks and have my first midwife appointment tomorrow which i am really looking forward too. this is just a short but sweet blog and i will hopefully write more soon x

proud

2008-07-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

this is a blog dedicated to jim. my fantastic husband.

i am so very proud of him and all his achievements. he has worked so hard for them and things are starting to happen. very exciting!

jims studio, mango studios was set up just over two years ago. it has been a dream of his to do and im so glad he has got it.

he has just brought a new van and had the most fantastic graphics put on it. they look great and already he his drumming up a fair bit of buisness.

so well done my darling, congratulations on setting your sights high and working hard to get to your dream.

i am very glad to be your wife x

good times

2008-07-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

i have had a really lovely day today. you know when things pan out much better than you thought they would?!

our car was going to have to go to the garage on thursday to have the window wiper motor replaced at a jaw dropping £400 which we just dont have. so jim called out rac to have a look which they couldnt fix so jim went online and found out what could be the problem and has fixed it! what a lovely man he is!

been out for lunch and dinner today which has been a real treat! very tired now though so im off to bed!

night xxx

musings

2008-07-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

not really sure how im feeling to be honest. im am excited about this pregnancy, it is very different from my last.

i have had no morning sickness which has been fantastic and i know god played a huge part in that. i am looking at this pregnancy through different eyes. im thinking more positively and believing in my body more to do what it needs to do.

james can home from work yesterday with a present for me. its a t-shirt that he had printed that has baby inside written on it. it was so sweet of him to think of me and i really appreciated it.

so many people are convinced i am having a boy this time which is fine with me. we have never been 'oh it has to be a girl' or vice versa we are just so happy to be having another child. so many people around me, good friends have struggled to get pregnant and it is so hard to see. i know i am blessed to have the chance to extend our family and i am truly grateful.

one of my friends is pregnant and her due date was yesterday so i am praying for a safe delivery and protection for her and her husband.

labour is something that you can never fully describe to someone no matter how many times you have done it. i know that each labour is different. when you talk to other mums who have experienced it you can appreciate what they are telling you but it is a unique experience for the mother and no one could ever tell you exactly what to happened or what to expect.

really hope my midwife is in touch soon to arrange the booking in appointment before we go away.

anyway enough from me.

feeling good!

2008-07-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

today is a good day! im am not as tired which has been great. means i can do more housework and run around after jorja!

im seven and a half weeks and feeling the bump! pretty much everyone knows im pregnant just by looking at me!

be nice to have my first midwife appointment soon chat things over with her.

im feeling

excited
enjoyed baking fairy cakes
happy about going away next week
joyful
positive none of this half empty stuff
relaxed
content
slightly hungry
proud
loved

and i could go on.

one thing that has always been a pet hate is people who dwell on bad things or cant see the best out of what they have. it is something that i work really hard on. moaning makes it worse. why do you think people always say laughter is the best kind of medicine?!

so for all you reading ......... "always look on the bright side of life!" as someone treasured showed me this week.

emotions

2008-07-14T13:38:00.001-07:00

today has been a day full with emotions.

i had a funeral to go to which is always a sad occasion especially when you knew them well. it was a real celebration of his life and a wonderful service.

im sitting feeling very grateful that im not having morning sickness. i am taking a different approach to this pregnancy and trusting god. my last pregnancy was awful with a lot of things out of my control but i am believing this pregnancy to be a positive experience.

i am a women of god designed to have babies and that is what i am going to do. my body knows what it is doing and i am just making sure i look after myself.

i am just over seven weeks and its been good!

food!

2008-07-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

today has been an odd day, i have gone from eating plenty to small amounts. although i have had a massive bowl of Italian ice cream! where i live there is a beautiful italian ice cream shop that is delicious! it is a lovely pick me up and treat! jorja has been a darling the last few days and i have enjoyed this weekend a lot!

last night i threw a surprise birthday party for jim. it was great he had no clue and everyone dressed up as superheroes! his birthday isnt until the 2nd of august so i think thats why it stayed a surprise! fab! im just glad we managed to pull it off!

just going to snuggle down with my husband and watch a film with some goodies!

perfect way to end the weekend! x

its been a while!

2008-07-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

this week has been really busy through nothing really! very odd.

just been to the cinema with jim, amy and rob, that was fun . haven't really had much time with jim this weeks. he has been really busy with work which has been hard but you gotta do what you gotta do. right?

in less then 2 weeks we have got the whole of the summer holidays together and i cant wait.

its easier for me to put how i feeling in bullet points with regards to my pregnancy or else i would waffle for ages!

excited
tired
hormonal
loved
blessed
jorja as a big sister
peace
joy

and on that note im off to bed x

little pickle!

2008-07-07T14:33:00.000-07:00

jorja has been a little pickle today so i was glad to being going on a ladies night! about 40 + women got together at an indian restaurant and pigged out! it was fab!

im really hoping i see my midwife soon as my 'bump' is getting quite noticeable already! im sure it because it is my second pregnancy quite close together but i just want to make sure!

had my first pot of cherries today and it was great, just what i fancied!

hormones!

2008-07-06T14:09:00.000-07:00

today has been a good day. had church this morning which was good then came home for lunch and i felt tired and grumpy and hormonal really. both me and jorja ended up having an afternoon nap which definitely made me feel better but i was still grumpy! i am very thankful that i have a loving husband and daughter that just let me be when hormones start taking over!

feeling so much better now though, jorja was just lovely this evening and really threw herself into bath time which is always fun to see. jorja was such a joy when she was a baby. she slept right through the night from 5 weeks and was so content. i am pleased to say that she is still an utter joy and if every child was like her people would have loads of children! now i know i am her mother so i am totally bias but she really is so beautiful in every way. i am so proud to call her my daughter.

james has been lovely too, he really is such a hands on dad who gets stuck in there and is always making sure she is cared for in every way possible. he comes in from work and whisks her away into very special daddy daughter time so i can relax and put my feet up.

i love the life we have together and i know our marriage will stand the test of time. we may be young but when you know its right, its right! he is my other half, the better half and i am his.

we have had a really nice chinese together tonight and relaxed with each other. lovely. just lovely.

lazy mornings

2008-07-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

this morning has been a lazy morning and me and jorja have thoroughly enjoyed it! ive got a friend popping down soon for lunch then tonight its film night at the youth club i run.

i am six weeks tomorrow and cant believe it! i keep looking and jorjas newborn pictures. it feels such a long time ago and yet it has only been 18 months! jorja is so helpful at the moment and understanding so much each day, i love watching here grow into her own person. i often look at her and wonder what she will do with her life, how she will look and so on! very exciting!

i love my little family.

let it rain!

2008-07-02T12:46:00.001-07:00

ive had the worst headache for the best part of two days now and i just need it to chuck it down with rain and i will feel so much better! all the pressure builds and it really hurts! i was in bed by 9pm last night!

jenni and tudor have just been over which was nice, especially seeing jen. shes great.

i have made chocolate brownies and resisted the urge to eat them all! i could quite easily, they are delicious even if i do say so myself!

:)

tiredness and sunshine

2008-06-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

i have had a lovely day today, went into hythe with my mum and jorja. i had a facial and mum had a back massage, it was fantastic.

the weather has been gorgeous again and long may it last, everything feels better when the sun is shining!

the only thing that i am finding difficult is the need for sleep all the time! but hay ho, if that is my only worry im doing pretty good! x

just lovely

2008-06-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

today has been 'just lovely' i went to church this morning which was great, jim played base and the band sounded fab, then went and met di and steve and headed to west wood cross. had a lovely meal which they treated us too. very nice and really appreciated.

had a mooch round the shops.

both me and jorja fell asleep on the way home, really odd to be napping as much as i am! i hate sleeping the the day! but if thats what bean needs thats what bean gets!

had some friends over tonight which is always fun and relaxing and now im listening to jim playing zelda on his wii!

i cant believe it but i am having to wear a few of my maternity trousers!!!!!!! i feel like a fraud as im so early on in the pregnancy but for some reason its like my body has just taken off from when i was last pregnant with jorja!

had the midwife phone me on friday to let me know they had received my form and would meet up with me in the next few weeks! very exciting! i am already 5 weeks and 1 day. its actually going fairly quickly!

bean says bye!!! xxx

precious moments

2008-06-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

today has been filled with precious moments.

i have and always will believe that it is the little things in life that mean the most. like someone remembering your favourite flower or taking 5 mins out of there day to say hi. things like that.

i woke up like i do most days, go in and see jorja have a wee and make her breakfast (washing my hands in between of course!) then waking jim and saying i love you.

he then tells me to rest and that he is taking jorja food shopping to spend some daddy daughter time and so that i don't have to worry trying to do it in the week.

while they are gone i decide to have a sort out in jorjas room and remember she has two boxes under her changing table that are full of new clothes!

she has just run out of jeans and low and behold i find two gorgeous pairs, and loads of tops and a coat, all from her 1st birthday! God has always provided for us and today was no different. how amazing, it was so incredible to find them and remember the special people that had brought them for her.

jim and jorja arrive home with all the shopping and i can see jorja holding a bunch of flowers that she brought straight up to me with the look of pure joy. that is such a fab feeling when you know your husband has had the thought to buy the flowers but then get jorja to give them to me. so special.

but the treats did not stop there! jim brought me:

watermelon, just what i needed
chocolate eclairs, not one bag but two!
j2o's
chocolate
and last but not least pistachios!

he really does know me! that's special that he remembered what foods make me happy.

then met up with mummy di and steve, jen and coral and maddy. jen had a fate where she works so we popped along for a bit but it got too hot so we went down to a pub nearby. di and steve treated us to lunch which was such a kind a thoughtful thing to do, again a precious moment for me.

THEN if that wasn't enough Jen presented us with some goodies from when she was in NZ and it was so great, she had thought of everyone and i love her for it.

finally jorja today has been beautiful and filled my day with endless joy but two things have really stood out. when i ask her where is mummy's bean? he comes over to me and points at my tummy then kisses it. amazing . a true big sis in the making. the other thing, i went in to see her in bed earlier and she was crying i knelt beside her and she pulled my face into hers, stroked my cheek and pointed at my eye and said "i", then put her hand on my chest and said "love" and then look at me and said "you".

need i say anymore?!?

thank you to all of you who have made my day. i am truly blessed.

thank goodness for jim!

2008-06-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

man i love my husband! not only is he fantastic with jorja but he is amazing with me too!

yesterday and today i have had a 'slight' hormonal surge and he still thinks im great! for some reason this week i have been so tired that when jorja is asleep i am too!

as soon as he comes in from work he tells me to put my feet up and relax, he sorts out dinner, leftover housework and jorja. he is my rock and i love him.

so james if you read this it is especially for you, you are an inspiration to me and jorja.

thank you for all you do.

xxxxxxx

blessings

2008-06-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

when i look at my life i know i am blessed. i have a wonderful little family and a great extended family.

as i sit here i keep thinking of the amazing miracle that is growing inside me. i was reading a pregnancy magazine today, i take most of there stuff with a pinch of salt, but they had a week by week description of whats going on with 'the bean' as we call it!

at four weeks our bean has a heartbeat! how fantastic is that. plus all its major organs have started forming.

i really am so excited.

when i look at jorja i often think wow, look what me and james have produced! i cant believe that such a gorgeous, funny and smart little girl started out like the bean in me now.

life is great x

2008-06-24T12:13:00.001-07:00

look at me go!

ok three days in a row! that is impressive.

today has been a day of mixed emotion.

spent most of the day with my nan and sister and it was just great. my nan is one of those people that you are just drawn too, she makes me feel very special and loved. she is wonderful. she also spoiled jorja too.

my nan insisted on buying us lunch so me and amy (my sis) insisted on buying pudding! at lunch my arm decided to go into overdrive and knock my drink all down me! and when i say it went everywhere i mean EVERYWHERE! it looked like i had peed myself! i rushed to the loo to try and sort the problem but there is only so much wet wipes can do! i then realized that instead of doing the normal discrete thing and use a cubicle, i am standing in full view of everyone wiping all over my trousers and wondering why people were starring!

anyway i decided that the wet myself look was not for me so quickly hurried to a clothes shop and found a fab pair of maternity trousers for a fiver! now i know what your thinking, maternity clothes already but have no fear im not going mad i just thought it makes sense to buy something that i can actually wear in the next year. instead of having to put them at the bak of my wardrobe and pray that i can wear them again!

that was the easy part of the day!

i am a very positive and outgoing person at heart but there are a few things not even my heart can deal with. well for now anyway it is going to take time and i know that james and jorja are here and really that is all that matters.

im sure i could rant for longer but the main thing is i am sitting here and james is on the couch and i want to be there with him! plus the sweets are closer to him and thats just wrong!

2008-06-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

well its official!

i went to the doctors today to fill out the form for the midwife and have started taking my folic acid.

i was given this 'welcome' pack that will have all my notes for this pregnancy, very check up routine test that kind of thing. i was filling in my personal details and it makes it feel so real! im so excited! jorja has been an angel as always, ive been more tired than usual and its like she knows! she goes off to read or play with her toys and just lets me be for a while. i love her so much and she really is a delight, she has made parenthood exciting and fun. i am so amazed by her everyday and can only imagine how fantastic she will play the role of 'big sis!"

james is always home late on a monday and wednesday, i miss him! we have been together for 6 years now and i still have butterflies when he walks into the room!

god really is great, he is there with me in the hard times and the good times and it is only when i am in a bad time that i can really see that he is at work. i have always believed that everything happens for a reason and that we get stronger when we embrace him through all situations.

i love my family very much they are so important to me.

as im sitting her typing and looking out at the sea i know i am blessed and that no matter what life throws at me i am part of the bigger picture.

its so refreshing to relax and be at peace. i love it!

i find it so amazing that i am just one women but i have so many roles!

wife
mother
daughter
sister
friend

i mean wow! if thats not enough to satisfy me then i dont know what is!

its begun!

2008-06-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

well hello! this is my first of many posts! i want to start by telling you a bit about myself and go from there.

i am 21 years old, married the man of my dreams nearly three years ago and have had the most beautiful little girl with him. she is now 18 months ( it has gone so quickly!) before Jorja i was a health care assistant in a neuro rehab ward which was great. i am now a full time mum and wouldn't change it for anything. which then brings me to the reason i started this blog!

i am proud to announce that i am 4 weeks pregnant and very excited! my husband james is fantastic and it is wonderful to be carrying his child.

i found my first pregnancy difficult and hard. There were so many surrounding stresses that made it difficult to enjoy the process.

this pregnancy i am going to enjoy it and really relax myself in it, jorja is going to be such an amazing big sister!

anyway thats me for now, write soon x