im off to cornwall so chat when i get home! x

mixed feelings

yesterday was a difficult day.

it started out as planned with me, jim, jorja and my sister going to the hospital for my first scan.

it was so magical seeing the baby move about and watching the heart beating. very emotional and exciting.

we also let jorja and amy come in after everything look ok so they got to see it too. jorja just kept looking at it and saying "BEAN'. it was a really lovely moment.

we found out that i am actually 13 weeks now which is exciting!

jim, jorja and amy went back to the car whilst i waited to have my blood tests done.

i got to the car just after one and that is when jim told me his nan had passed away a few moments before.

sadness, utter sadness.

it was a difficult day from there because we had previously arranged that jorja would stay at di and steves for the night and me and jim were going to have a relaxing afternoon and evening together.

jorja did go to di's but it was very odd. didnt know how to feel really. i just wanted to do whatever jim felt he needed to do.

so thats what we did.

and thats is what we will keep on doing.

fun, fun, fun!

so much has happened since my last blog.

this week has been really tough as jims nan is very poorly in hospital so we have been there all week and meeting loads of family members.

we have just become so tired. it really is an emotional roller coaster that i wish i could make all better.

seeing jims nan reminded me of my nan who died nearly two years ago. i miss her so much and it brings it all back.

i am supporting jim in the best i can. i just hope its enough.

when you love someone so much its really hard seeing them in pain and wondering what is going to happen.

on a brighter note, it was my birthday yesterday which was hard with everything that is going on but jim made it special for me.

i had so many cards and special gifts. i also got money so now i just need to figure out what to buy with it!

today jim has gone to see lee evans which was my birthday present to him so thats nice that he has got something to enjoy and take his mind of things.

hopefully i will try and keep things more up to date on here, getting a bit slow on my part!

i am 12 weeks tomorrow! how quick has that gone?!?!?!

pondering

this weekend has been filled with emotions. some of pure joy and others of sadness.

im not sure what i want to write today. all i know is that i wanted to write something.

this weekend has been a time with family, pulling together and knowing that just being there can make a difference.

i think i am going to leave it at that for now.

relaxing

today has been a good day, a great day.

in the school holidays me and jim take it in turns to get up with jorja, give her breakfast and entertain her while the other gets some well earned sleep!

today was my day to sleep. jorja is always very excited to see daddy when she firsts wakes because usually its me so the holidays are a real treat for her. because of this she always sings at high volume with pure excitement and joy.

its lovely to hear but i rarely get to lay in because once I'm awake i have to get up.

this morning jim got up i heard him and jorja then the next thing i know i hear the front door and it is nine am!

i actually slept in!

jim had taken jorja out for breakfast and brought some shopping and generally stayed out so i could sleep.

how amazing is he!

it doesn't stop there though, jorja came into our bedroom gave me a huge hug and her and jim presented me with breakfast in bed.

how blessed am i?!?!?

he had even left me a note to say they had gone out and he loved me. he knows me. he knows that if i had of woken to find them not there i would have worried.

i love the fact that he knows me.

jorja has been beautiful today. she always is. today though she was extra beautiful.

we were all in the car on the way home and jorja started copying everything we did. for example if i moved my arms she would do the same. it was so funny and in that moment i knew i didn't want to be anywhere else. we had such a special few moments as a family laughing, dancing.

beautiful, just beautiful.

sunshine

i had my first midwife appointment yesterday and she is really lovely which is nice. nine months is a long time and when your pregnant it can be very personal and quite a roller coaster of a ride so its good to know you can trust and open up to her.


my first scan is on the 19th of august which i am really excited about. cant wait to meet our baby.


i am absolutely loving this summer, spending all this time with jim and jorja is great. i love te fact that jim always has the summer off, its our family time together.


we are all going for a picnic on the beach soon so im off to get ready. enjoy the sun!

been a while!

ok well i know its been a while but i have been away with jim and jorja and a whole bunch of youth from our church for the week. we got back on sat which is jims bday so we are all slightly knackered but had a fab time. i am now over 10 weeks and have my first midwife appointment tomorrow which i am really looking forward too. this is just a short but sweet blog and i will hopefully write more soon x